riff_razor | For basmastare

The Danes had all seen the way Blixt's bassist looked at their youngest. Ansgar had been more or less spying on the man and asking around after him, natural older brother instinct, especially with such a vulnerable younger brother. There were others but none so serious. Sigurd's doting, and his jealousy, were clear to them.

Rik knew the most about Mikkel and though it would bring up so much of his own dark past the guitarist knew he was the best suited for this task. The other Danes helped, taking Mikkel out of the hotel which he eagerly accepted. Rik took a long time, spent some time with Billy to prepare, then he was off to find the bassist. He's not looking forward to this but someone needs to intervene before Mikkel accidently starts a fight and causes a rift in the bands.

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Sigurd was busy buffing the body of his neon green bass guitar in his hotel room. He did this often to make sure it was nice and shiny for the stage when the band did eventually jump up and perform in front of thousands. The night before had been a booze-fulled rampage with Blixt as usual with Bjorn becoming smashed wanting to find his ginger. Lars and Ulrik had both passed out so the bassist took it upon himself to tuck them both up in bed in his room because what else could he do? He was the band dad.

He wasn't expecting visitors because his mind was on performing and then there was the brat. The kid. The fucking annoying little shit that Sigurd had now become attached. Fuck. What was his life? Mikkel had grown on him and now he didn't even know what to think.

It took Rik some time to hunt down the bassist's room. He knocked lightly and then slowly opened the door.

"Sigurd?" Despite knowing the bassist a little Rik is nervous due to the nature of what they might end up talking about.

The bassist heard the voice and looked up from applying more polish to a rag in his hand. Putting it down on his bedside table he noticed it was the Hammer's guitarist, Rik. Mikkel's cousin to be more accurate and one of the Soerens. Was something wrong? Immediately the Swede's mind started reeling with bad thoughts on Mikkel or someone else being in trouble. His dad mode flipping a switch in his mind often.

"Is something wrong, Rik? You don't usually come to see me in my room. Don't tell me Bjorn is causing shit to you and your Hammers?"

It was a possibilty.

Rik froze at that first question because there were a few different answers he could give.

"Bjorn?" Rik started to laugh and blushed as he came in and closed the door. "The last I saw of him he was down in the resturant on Rekker's lap, drunk and sharing food."

Which was no surprise at this point since Joe and Aarne did that a lot too. "I... we noticed you're trying to date Mikkel. Ansgar's worried he's going to start fights."

That was honest and then the Dane was shrugging. "I think there's a lot someone should tell you."

Rik didn't want to talk about it but Sigurd was walking into a mine field too.

Edited Date: 2022-01-06 09:37 pm (UTC)

Sigurd immediately reached for his bedside table and found his cigarette packet, pulling one out and lighting up. He did this when stressed and this conversation Rik was bringing to the table called for a smoke or several. Mikkel. That word got the bassist unhooking his bass and laying it back into it's case on the floor.

"Trying to date? Yeah, I suppose you could say it like that. The brat he's so fucking infuriating but there's something about him I really like. A yearning to protect him in a weird way I suppose. Fuck knows but---I think I'm falling for him, Rik. In love."

The Swede spoke the truth and wasn't shying away from any of his feelings. As for Mikkel starting fights? Sig could well believe that due to the brat's need for attention and the way he often went about things. The flirting and lack of experience with how relationships actually worked. Feelings were going to get hurt if he wasn't stopped.

"Tell me then. I know it might be hard but---I want to be with him."

"Torden noticed the way you hold him." Out if all the Danes Torden was oldest and had way more experience in relationships and sex than the others. "I noticed he's been flirting with a lot of the others."

Rik wondered if climbing into someone's lap and kissing them was flirting or something more but bringing it up might make the bassist pissed.

Rik sat down on the chair in the room feeling a rare urge to drink in order to handle what this might get into. "He's been abused, a lot and it makes him hard to deal with."

"He notices? I suppose I can't well hide the fact that I like the brat in my lap or close to me. Mikkel has a lithe body and long legs. I just like the way he looks and yeah---just everything about him. His bratty mouth included."

Sig knew Mikkel could be a little shit at times but there was a reason for this. Rik was probably about to tell him shit he didn't want to hear. But it had to be said. This is why the Dane was here, wasn't it?

"Abused? Fuck. I mean I've heard some stuff about his past but no details about what went on. It shouldn't fucking happen---not to a young boy like him. Or to anyone. It's sick and wrong."

The Swede knew it would make his blood boil but he would have to sit and listen to what Rik had to say. This was for the best.

"Torden and Ansgar were... sort of his parents." Not exactly but they were certainly better parents than his real parents. "He needs someone to like him. Someone who isn't family."

Rik could sense the anger in the Swede already, an instinct of someone who was always on edge about being injured for way to long. Rik curled up in the chair to make himself smaller and help his nerves if... when Sigurd got angry.

"It's going to be hard to hear." And hard for the Dane to talk about. Rik didn't know how to proceed, slowly or should he just spill it out all at once. "He was starved, I know, at home. They used to leave him locked in his room alone. Ansgar and thier older sister used to sneak food and water in to him. That's part of why he started running away to stay with me. Ansgar wasn't treated all that much better."

And that wasn't any better. All the discussion was going to go downhill from here. " Our family doesn't really like boys."

Rik didn't know why but he knew it was true. "When he found out I was getting beaten, things got worse. He tried to get his parents to help me. He was just a boy and they threw him out when he was 11 because he got angry that they wouldn’t help me."

Edited Date: 2022-01-20 10:52 pm (UTC)

"Fuck. What sort of fucking monsters were they? They had no right to even bear children just---it's sick."

Sigurd was hating what he heard but remained silent, listening to what Rik was telling him, knowing full well it wasn't going to be easy. The parents were low life fucking assholes and the Swede just felt his hands balling into fists at what the Dane was explaining.

"Why don't they like boys? I hate hearing about kids getting beaten and it seems all of you had it worse. Fucking monsters."

The whole abuse thing had the Swede thinking about wanting to smash the parents' heads against a brick wall. Fuck, if he ever met them he'd kill them. Or at least make sure they never hurt anyone ever again.

"Most of our family... I guess wants compliance and whatever they demand." He shrugged because he really didn't know. "I never played well enough. That's why my father turned on me. Mikki.. he just started being a girl. Girls were treated better because they could bring in wealthy men."

Rik hadn't ever thought about it but his family had a very antiquated idea of marriage and family. He tried not to think about it mostly.

"My father, I don't know all of what he did but it changed Mikki. He went from sweet to angry and scared in just a few months." Rik knew Mikkel stayed in his house while he was at school and who knows what happened since his cousin refused to talk about it.

"He started dancing because they wouldn't take me to the hospital and when my dad knocked me out, Mikki used to get me into bed." Rik never knew how since he was so much smaller and younger. He did know that sometimes there had to be fights over it because he would wake up and his cousin would be bloodied or Bruised.

"Don't take it personally of he sleeps dressed or hides at night. My father did that to him..." Rik paused and gave the Swede a worried look. He was afraid the man was going to blow up.

Edited Date: 2022-02-05 05:44 pm (UTC)

The more Sigurd was hearing the more he wanted to smash Rik's father in the head with his fist or better still get that fucking belt and strangle the bastard until he suffocated. For what he did to Rik and his cousins it was fucking sick. He hated it. All of it. Just hot white anger coursing through his veins now, unable to even speak.

"No..."

He felt tears well up in the corners of his eyes as emotion began to overtake him. Pulling out his pack of smokes he lit up and could feel his hands shake with anger as he struggled with the lighter. The poor kids---beaten up and abused. No wonder the brat was so fucked up. It was because of that father. The evil bastard.

"Just no."

Sigurd got up and balled his fists at his sides, smoking heavily and closing his eyes before glancing towards the door. He wanted to smash shit up. Break things imagining it was Rik's father's head. Smash the bastard.

"I can't----thank you for telling me this, Rik but please leave. I need to be alone."

Turning away from the Dane, Sigurd felt bad for asking Rik to leave but he didn't want to traumatise the Dane anymore as he knew he had to be alone for this. The anger just overriding any judgement he might have.

Rik understood the emotions and how it effected people. He had watched Aarne and Billy go through this, and Hunter and Hans to a lesser extent. He took a breath and shook his head.

"I can't." Rik was terrified of Sigurd's body language and couldnt hide that from his voice. "There are still things I need to tell you and.... the last thing you need is to be alone."

It took effort for Rik to stand while watching Sigurd's body language. If Sigurd insisted he'd leave but he'd send one if the others in. Sigurd was in no mental state to be isolated.

Sigurd just forced himself to look at Rik and could feel his anger about to tip over the edge but he knew he had to stay and listen. The Dane wasn't finished and the Swede had to know. Fuck he had to. No matter how hard it might be. The problem being he didn't know how long he could sit and listen much longer without blowing up.

"Fine. Just---tell me. I have to know."

Slumping back down onto the chair, Sigurd just smoked and already pulled out another ready to light up once that one was finished. He always ended up chain smoking when the shit got bad and right now it was the worst it could get.

Rik hesitated because of his own trauma. He didn't know Sigurd but he forced himself through it and went to the Swede and gave him a hug.

"I know it's hard but it's the past." Rik would stay as long as Sigurd wanted to hug but then would back away. He's truly afraid both for his own emotions and the bassist's.

"Mikkel and I used to sleep together. It felt safe. One day my father knocked me out and Mikkel took me to bed. I never knew how he got me up the stairs." Rik swallowed hard and chewed on his lip nervously. "I woke up and Mikki was screaming. My father wad on top of him and had him pinned on the bed beside me screaming at him. Even in the dark I could see his face was all blue. I shoved my father off the bed and Mikkel went over too. I tried to stop him but he just threw me against the wall. Our bed was in the corner and Mikkel had crawled under it. My dad screaming at him to come out and get what he deserved. I don't know but he got a hold of Mikkel's leg and dragged him out. I remember trying to get up and Mikki screaming and trying to crawl back under the bed while my father beat him with his belt. The scars on his back..."

Rik took a deep breathe. "He's afraid of a lot because of that night. It took me calling Ollie and Torden to help me coax him out from under the bed. That night made him different and he won't tell you. He won't talk about it but he's scared in bedrooms a lot. He'seasy to startle at night and has nightmares all the time."

Rik didn't know what to do as he wrapped his arms around himself. He was getting emotional too. "He's going to need to you teach him how to feel safe again."

The words coming out of Rik's mouth were like lead shots pummeling into the Swede's body. Directly into his heart as he practically stood up and threw his smoke packet across the room seeing it hit the back wall of the room. Fuck! Fuck this! The abuse was just too much to hear even though Sigurd knew he had to hear it. But he couldn't get angry not properly. Not in front of Rik. The Danes had seen enough violence in their young lives.

"Just----please leave, Rik. I need to be alone. I can't----just go."

Sigurd's words clipped short with anger, pain and hurt as he refused to turn back around to face Rik. It was almost too painful to look at the blond because he saw Mikkel in him too. The poor crouched boy who hid under beds. The boy who got beaten by the evil piece of shit called a father. A fuckhead. No other words came as Sigurd just felt the hot white anger pierce every fibre of his being.

"...Fuck."

Rik felt like cowering from the anger he could sense. It was instinct now even when he tried to ignore it.

"I'm sorry Sigurd." And he was because he didn't want to tell him these things. No matter his own feelings The Swede needed to know where Mikkel was coming from.

He did as he was told, left but he told the others, one of them, Ansgar, Ollie or Torden, to go check on the Swede in awhile. Then he went to find Billy. Rik was on the verge of tears and meltdown too from the memories.

"Do not be sorry, Rik. Never be sorry. It's your asshole of a father who should be sorry."

Sigurd just whispering the words, barely audible from the anger that laced his every word. God, he just wanted to rip that bastard's head off for what he had done! Traumatised the poor young Dane boys who were totally innocent. What kind of sick fuck could do such a thing to a child anyway? The Swede turned around once Rik had left the room and instantly grabbed the nearest thing at hand, which was a table lamp, and smashed it against the wall hard. It shattered into pieces and left a dent in the plaster.

"FUCK YOU!"

The Swede yelled out the loudest he could as he ran up to the wall and smashed his fist towards it the hardest he could. Pain instantly shot up his arm but he didn't care. Mikkel didn't deserve the pain he had endured. The father should be fucking dead.

"Din jävla skit!"

Pulling his hand back from the hole in the wall he noticed bits of plaster and paint lodged inside the cuts on his hand. Fuck it. He was so angry he began to sob as he slumped down onto the couch, grabbing the nearest bottle of booze and chugging near a whole bottle in a few minutes. The burn hurt as did his hand which was now bruising up as well as bleeding from the cuts in between his knuckles.

The other Danes, minus Mikkel who was probably somewhere hanging on Harald or getting drunk with Fredrik, knew what Rik asked for was important. They'd all been hit with anger and pain. Ollie backed out because it was too close to home, afraid he might just get stirred up with Sigurd when he heard the screaming.

Being the oldest, Torden felt the obligation. It felt right somehow. After being there for Mikkel when he was on the streets to help his new..boyfriend? through the shock. He gave Sigurd time and once things went quiet the older Dane went to Sigurd's room.

He wasn't sure what he would find when he went in and prepared to duck a thrown punch or screaming. Anger hit everyone differently. The hole in the wall didn't go unnoticed, nor did the bassist's hand.

"Come on. We need to ice that so you can keep playing." He was calm, business-like, to try and keep the situation from blowing up again.

Sigurd didn't even look up when he heard someone entering his room. He was clutching the now empty bottle of Jack allowing it to slip from his fingers and roll away from him onto the floor. Tears stained his cheeks as he now wiped at his face with his good hand, trying to ignore the burning pain coming from the other. Yet, none of the physical pain could match the emotional one he was feeling now.

"I don't need anyone."

It was all he could get out when he did finally look up noticing it was the older Dane. Lars' hairy man. Torden's words rang true but the bassist was too caught up in his own anger and pain to even care right now. All he wanted to do was to smash shit up and imagine it was Rik's father. He was also drunk which didn't help.

"We both know that is a lie." Torden could sympathize with the feelings. "If you didn't need anyone you wouldn't have put your hand through the wall."

He's being honest and walks over to squat down in front of the angry, and now drunk, Swede. His had looked bad but the knuckles still looked decent. Nothing broken probably.

"I know what you're feeling but we need to take care of this." He knew more about it than most, though Billy and Ollie would surely sympathize, and the Fin. It was hard to learn someone you cared about had been hurt when you weren't there to do anything about it.

Torden was right of course and Sigurd was in no mood to argue so resigned himself to slump back into the couch and push his hair back drunkenly. Fuck. Had he really punched a hole through the wall? He was just so angry his body went on autopilot and his emotions had exploded all at once.

"I know I just---"

The Swede didn't want Mikkel seeing him like this all vulnerable, crying and broken. He wanted to be strong for the brat because that's what daddies did. His dirty daddy whatever it was people thought of him. Looking up at the older Dane Sigurd just sighed.

"That fucking piece of shit. I want to kill him. That fuckhead of a father."

"The whole family, pretty much, Rik's parents, Mikkel'sparents, most of the others I've met, too." Torden agreed but kept himself calm as he stood back up.

The bassist obviously needed some encouragement and Torden took his arm at the elbow. "Let's get your hand cleaned up and put all this energy to a better use."

"I need a fucking smoke."

This was all Sigurd could say as he fumbled around for his smoke packet which was always in his back pocket of his pants but it wasn't there. Fuck. Where the hell was it? Hadn't he thrown it at the wall only moments ago? The Swede didn't even care anymore. He just needed something to take the edge off.

"You want to clean my hand up? I thought I was the fucking daddy here."

A small laugh managed to slip from the bassist's lips as he winced trying to move his fingers. Why the fuck had he done this? Smashed a hole through the wall. Rex was going to be pissed because he was the man next door.

"After your hand." Torden said firmly because they needed to get the debris out before it started an infection.

"Right now, you're having a tantrum like the brat." Torden laughed quietly trying to lighten the mood. "Come on. Before the real brat comes in here."

Edited Date: 2022-02-05 09:01 pm (UTC)

"Du är en jävla skyddsängel, eller hur?"

Sigurd just defaulting back to his own language because he was drunk and so emotionally drained he was actually tired. Exhausted. For no apparent reason at all. Maybe it was the booze and the fact that he'd hardly slept and had been on stage non-stop for a good few weeks now. Maybe he was getting old. At 28 he was no spring chicken anymore, at least in the rock and roll world. Trying to keep a hold of the brat and make sure he was safe. It was all taking a bit of a toll on the rock star.

"Yeah, maybe I am. Fuck, I don't want the brat in here. He can't see me like this."

A wave of fear washed over Sigurd as his eyes snapped to the door hoping that Mikkel wouldn't just walk in.